Life Diaries
by superimperfection
Summary: Based on the script sneak peek between Lauren, Joey, Lucy and Poppy TWO SHOT
1. Chapter 1

**Based on the script sneak peek for the 10th of June between Lauren, Lucy, Joey and Poppy, just my idea of where I want it to go :) Two shot so enjoy xx**

**Life Diaries **

So after my recent life events where I had found in a police cell after well firstly, punching Lucy in the face, and then smashing the main window of the café. To say my life reached rock bottom was an understatement. I was drinking every day, I couldn't remember a 24 hour period where I hadn't had a drink in my system, I was constantly slurry, couldn't walk straight and would start the cycle all over again.

Although I was fuming that Lucy reported me to the police, **bitch.** I was kind of grateful, because the time I spent alone sobering up inside the cell without any contact to anyone it gave me a chance to think about where my life was heading. This wasn't who I wanted to be, I always wanted to make something of myself, not finding myself locked up for being drunk and disorderly. My mind was in constant agony as it traced over the past month or two, how my life spiralled out of control, how my dad was now living with his wife who wasn't my mum and who was now carrying his child, how Joey had broken my heart once more, how my former best friend schemed behind my back just to get Joey back. Each small thing leading me to where I was.

I was fed up with being the lost cause, the trouble maker, the drunk and the family failure. It was time for a change, I was no longer going to find myself on the wrong side of the law, I was no longer going to be drunk, throwing up at every second, I was going to get back on track and stay there.

After spending a few weeks at home, no contact with anyone except from my mum and dad, I found myself healing ever so slowly. The craving to neck a bottle of wine still rung in my mind, but it wasn't so harsh anymore, it was bearable.

Apparently Joey had tried to see me at the police station but I wasn't allowed any visitors, _lucky me._ Mum had also told me, he was asking for me every day when he saw her, I just couldn't grasp why he was so interested. The previous week he had rejected me in the square, so why was he so worried about me now.

* * *

Anyways, finally my life began piecing itself together. I had been given a caution for my actions by the police and I had to pay Ian the money for a new window. I had also been in contact with my college and caught up on the work I had missed, resulting in getting A's for my assignments. The new one I was set was much more to my taste. I had been given a camera and was set to make a short film about my life. My tutor had told me to include my friends and family, my surroundings and myself.

Well firstly I didn't have any friends, I had lost them all, well except Fatboy who was a constant source of support for me. As for family, that would be a little easier. I wasn't overly excited about filming myself, the worry that I would break down in front of the camera nagged at me. Then I would have to show it to my tutor and they would finally release how fucked up I really was.

Finally for the first time in weeks I stepped outside the walls of number 5, suddenly feeling exposed, but mostly judged. The square had watched my downfall in HD for Christ sake, some had even witnessed me throwing the bin through the window of the café, I must have looked a raving nut job.

On another note, me and Lucy were on talking terms after mum made us sit down and talk it out. We weren't friends by any stretch but we were civil enough and that would do for now. She hadn't forgiven me for punching her and I hadn't forgiven her for breaking me and Joey up. We knew where we stood.

* * *

As I walked aimlessly across the square with the camera on, I began filming the area, from my dad's car lot to The Vic, across the gardens everything I saw. As I walked down the market I kept the camera on catching the looks I got from the locals, though they would soon have something else to gossip about soon.

"Lauren" Poppy's face appeared before the camera, her warm smile easing my tense figure.

"Hey Pops" I smiled, keeping the camera on record, I could edit bits when I was done.

"How are you doing?" she asked a little hesitantly, playing with the ends of her hair.

"I'm better than I was, don't worry about me I'm fine" I plastered on a fake smile trying to ease her, I didn't want to talk about my messed up life. I glanced over to the café seeing Lucy walk out, followed by Joey, I couldn't help but groan a little. Focusing my attention back to Poppy she thankfully continued the conversation.

"So what's with the camera?" she asked, noticing I was still recording.

"Media project, doing a film" I replied, Joey and Lucy both now stopping next to Poppy. His eyes were watching me closely, though I wouldn't look at him properly.

"So what's this film about then?" continuing as if they weren't there.

"My life" I stated

"It's going to be short I take it?" Lucy interjected smirking a little at me, did she forget I punched her or something, I wasn't afraid to do it again.

"Play nicely girls!" Joey commented, at least he was saying something, better than nothing like he had done weeks ago when Lucy would make snide comments.

"Well this was unpleasant, better get moving, things to film" I smiled removing myself from this rather awkward situation I was in.

* * *

I made my way to the playground. So much had occurred here, this was a pin point of my life in so many ways. I filmed it slowly, I couldn't resist zooming in on the bench where Joey first told me he loved me, I would defiantly edit something into that part.

As I set the camera down on the bench, I rested my chin in my heads pressing record.

"Here, in this park is where he told me he loved me, the very first time. I remember as if it was yesterday, I guess I was it was back at that time, maybe I could of stopped everything from going too far, finding myself here alone" I paused the camera, taking a deep breath trying to steady myself.

* * *

Resting my head in my hands I felt the presence of someone else, as they plonked down opposite me on the bench.

"Mind if I borrow this?" he asked, of course I should of known he had followed me. After harassing my mum for the past weeks he had finally seen me out, yet I gave him nothing.

"What for?" I asked my head still in my hands.

"It's about your life isn't it? I'm part of that" his voice a little uneasy scared of pushing me.

I simply shrugged my shoulders, looking up at him finally, his eyes once more watching me intently.

"Well I'll return it to you later" he smiled, picking up the camera he moved away, glancing over at me once more. I didn't understand why he needed it? What could he possibly film or say on it?

_I guess it was a matter of waiting._


	2. Chapter 2

Making this into a Three parter! The last part will be posted tomorrow :) Enjoy xx

**Life Diaries – Part 2**

Joey had my camera for over 2 hours now; I hadn't seen him since he left with it in the park. I hadn't gone looking for him though; instead I was now sat at the allotments thinking. Not long ago I was sitting in this same spot with Patrick, confessing everything I was feeling to him, _poor man_.

What I couldn't grasp was why I was finding it so hard to be around anyone. Mum had asked me to go home and have lunch with her and the family, I refused. The thought of sitting round a table, all eyes on me, wondering when I was going to have another break down, or whether I would show up completely obliterated. To be honest I didn't really fancy a drink, it would only be proving everyone right, that I was a waste of space. I wanted to be more than that; I wanted to be Lauren Branning, the girl who achieves her dreams.

Leaving the allotments I headed to find Joey, I needed my camera so I could continue with my project. Why did he even need it? It wasn't like he knew me anymore, so what could he possibly be filming. As I was walking down the market I spotted him leaving Lucy's, my heart dropped as he held my camera in his hands. Why on earth would he be at hers with my camera for my project, **fuming**.

"Can I have my camera?" I called, his face looking a little shocked as I spotted where he was.

"I'm not done yet" he replied, looking a little guilty.

"Well you are now, I need that for my project, it might not be important to you but it's for my exam so hand it over" I was being a little rude, but that was just the anger and upset of where I had seen him leave pulsing through my veins.

He didn't reply, just passing me the camera as I pushed past him, I needed to be in the comfort of my own home.

"It wasn't what It looked like" his voice close behind me, clearly following me back to number 5. Why couldn't the just leave me alone?

"I don't care Joey, I just need to get on with my project" I replied, my feet taking me a little faster.

"You do care otherwise you wouldn't of snatched the camera away from me so soon" he chuckled, urging me to stop and face him.

"Fine I do care, but it doesn't matter you can do what you like when you like, I just don't want her on my film" I snapped, opening up the camera, I pressed record; maybe I could get some footage whilst we argued.

"You said it's about your life, she was part of your life" he commented, as I held the camera in my hands, he didn't realise it was recording.

"Unlucky for me" I hissed, watching as he smirked, rolling his eyes at me.

"You were once best friends, surely that counts for something?" he asked a little hesitantly.

"**Were** being the key word, just like you were my boyfriend and now you not" I snapped nastily, I was getting irritated with him trying to force Lucy in my face. I didn't want to know; too much had happened for us to ever go back.

"Don't Lauren" he muttered, rubbing the crease on his forehead, my comment had stung, _good._

"Only speaking the truth, now if you don't mind I have a project to finish" I sighed, pressing pause on the camera.

"Actually I do mind, I wasn't finished so-" taking the camera from my hands, he began walking away from me and back to his house.

"I want that back in an hour Joey, I can't afford to fail at something else" I called, little bit of guilt tripping never hurt anyone.

One more I was sat waiting for the camera I stupidly let him take again. Why was Joey such a weakness for me? I have never been so affected by someone in my whole life. If he said to me let's get back together I would within a heartbeat, even though the deep hurt I was feeling for him breaking up with me and believing Lucy would still be there. I knew and I think he knew we were each other's halves. The person most people spend their life searching for, the one that completes them. I guess it was just a matter of time, that's if Lucy can just butt out.

As if on cue the doorbell rang, Joey standing the other side of the door with my camera, finally.

"I'm done with it, good luck with the project" he smiled, though his eyes looked blotchy and red, passing me the camera, he gave me one more small smile before leaving.

"Thanks Joey" I called, as he turned and flashed me another smile.

* * *

The rest of the afternoon I spent filming my family, secretly leaving the camera on for a little bit, I also caught a few moments with Fatboy and Poppy. When I got home I loaded the clips onto my laptop to begin editing. I couldn't help but laugh for the first time in a while at Fatboy trying to beat box, I could always count on him to put a smile on my face. It didn't take me too long to edit the surrounding clips I had taken which would be the first clips on the film.

As I moved onto the clips Joey had taken, I watched them one by one. The first clip was of Whitney and Tyler, who I hadn't spoken to in weeks ever since I kissed Tyler. Pressing play I felt extremely nervous on what they would say, especially Whitney.

"_Lauren is beautiful_-" she smiled, sighing as she looked down the camera. "_Lauren is a beautiful mess, she doesn't realise how beautiful she is on the inside and the obvious outside. She has a huge heart, but so much is consumed with pain and suffering_" Whitney sighed glancing at Tyler. _"Lauren doesn't know her value, how much people care for her, she doesn't think she's worthy of love, she couldn't be more wrong_". The clip ended and I took a moment to adjust. I didn't understand, we weren't friends, Whitney hated me, yet here she was saying these things about me.

Wiping my teary eyes I pressed play onto the next clip. In surprise Abi and Jay appeared on the screen at The Archers, Joey had clearly caught them on a break.

_"Lauren is annoying_-" Abi stated, making me laugh. _"She's stubborn and sarcastic; she doesn't have that function between what's in your head to what comes out of your mouth. But she is also strong, she's a survivor_." Abi paused, looking at Jay who was nodding. _"Lauren is her sibling's protector, she shields them the best she can_" he smiled, nudging Abi who was agreeing, before the clip ended.

_"Lauren is a bitch"_ of course Lucy was up next. I laughed at her, she looked less than impressed, and to be honest I was a bitch. _"But then so am I. Lauren cares, she doesn't like to show that she cares, but she does. She brought my dad back to me, even though I claimed I didn't need him, I'm so grateful. Lauren has a good punch, she still has the fight left in her"_ Lucy smiled, the clip ending after that. I sighed; I hadn't expected this in anyway, let alone for Lucy to be on this, saying what she said after everything we had been through.

I sighed; my emotions were all over the place, pressing play on the last clip in the file. Joey's face appeared, he was in his room, I could tell by the décor. He was sitting on his bed, looking down the camera as if he could see me, as if he was talking directly at me.

"_Lauren –"_ he sighed a small smile creeping at his lips.

_"You're a mess"_ he stated, making me role my eyes, I know I'm a mess. _"But you're my mess. Your head strong and stubborn, even worse than me. You love hard, I felt how much you loved me every day, but you also let me love you. You're emotionally scarred, damaged by the hurt you have felt over the years. You cry about your brother more than you let on, you love your dad more than you liked to admit even after all he has done, and you worry about your mum even though you pretend not to. You love art but, too afraid to show anyone your talent. You couldn't ever describe yourself as beautiful because you don't see yourself as that, but to me and everyone else you're the most beautiful person, maybe one day you will believe us."_ He sighed **"I love you"** and with that he reached forward clicking off the camera as I stared in disbelief at the laptop.


	3. Chapter 3

**Life Diaries – Part 3**

As I walked over to number 23, my feet carrying me a little faster than expected, I was washed with a million and one emotions. My hand banging on the door harshly as I heard the sound of movement from the opposite side before it open, Joey leaning against the door frame. His slight smirk upon his lips angered me a little, he could clearly see he had got to me in some way or another. As he stepped forward I was unsure what was about to happen, I could sense his hands coming closer to my face.

Before I had a second to think, my hand sparked a natural reaction, swinging in the direction of his cheek, slapping him rather hard. I gasped as I watched in slow motion, his hand reaching up to cup his now red cheek. His face washed with shock at my sudden smack.

"You don't just get to say you love me" I shouted, my brain finally chipping in as anger sparked through my body. Sure I had waited months for those words to escape his lips, but now they finally had I was angry with him. He couldn't possibly think that just saying it would mean we were fine again, now that I was sort of fixed but not.

"Lauren I-" he went to speak but I cut him off.

"NO, you ended it with me remember, you made that choice, you think that a video confession of your love for me with magically fix everything, well it doesn't" I snapped, my eyes brimming with tears as my mind washed over all the amazing things he had said to me on that tape, yet it just didn't seem enough. I was hurt, angry that it took him this long to finally realise what I had been saying all along. I was fuming that he was being so sweet and loving, helping me with my project, making it harder for me to move past what we had.

"I did not expect this reaction" he blurted out. His eyes a little confused with how I was reacting to something so emotionally exposed for him.

"No you expected me to run over, tell you that I love you to and then were fine, but you seem to forget how much you hurt me" I sighed trying to reduce the volume of my voice. "I was humiliated by you, believing Lucy over me, ignoring me for weeks on end, turning your back on me, I had no one because of you" I hissed, the tears now free flowing down my cheeks.

"You right" he whispered, reaching forwards using the pad of his thumb to wipe the tears away from my face. "I don't deserve you, I'm bad news".

I gulped loudly, feeling a little guilty for blaming my complete melt down on him, when it was due a long time ago, although he was a factor.

"If your bad news Joey, I'm terrible news" I sighed, turning away from him I needed the comfort of my surrounding walls at home. I was emotionally exhausted. I had cried watching the videos over and over again and the confrontation with Joey had just made me even more tired and confused. Here he was proclaiming everything I wanted him to ever say to me, yet I couldn't get past this feeling that he would once more hurt me, that together we were **toxic.**

* * *

Carrying my camera downstairs I sat down with my mum needing some advice women to women. She had just as many disasters within a relationship as me and Joey had.

"What's wrong darling?" she quizzed, taking my hand within hers.

"Joey said he loved me" I sighed, rubbing my creased forehead with my free hand as she watched me closely.

"I thought that's what you've always wanted to hear?" she seemed just as confused as he was.

"It is, but can I ever believe in him again, I have this constant fear he will leave me once more, he's done it twice now" I replied, looking back at her as she thought over what I had just said.

"You can't live your life in fear honey, sometimes you need to take chances if he's worth it. After everything you two have been through together would you really want to give up now?" she asked, probing some deep thoughts within me.

"You faced Derek, a crash, the whispers of the square and still remained strong. I know you feel he let you down when it came to Lucy, but he told me he hated seeing you drink every single day, it killed him". I nodded listening to her explaining, I know my drinking would have driven us apart eventually.

"Honey you need to ask yourself is he worth it?" and with that she got up from the couch, pecking the top of my head softly, leaving me with my thoughts.

As I thought more about what she said, it came clear to me that Joey always hated me drinking. I was vulnerable when I was consumed with alcohol, I was a shadow of the sober me, taking by the darkness even. I hid behind the alcohol so I didn't face the overwhelming realisation of the things in my life.

That first kiss with him in my hallway, I was drunk of course. He had pulled away because I was drunk, only to kiss me properly and show his emotions to me whilst I was sober. He didn't want to share me with alcohol who changed the person I was, he wanted the real me, the one that was fun loving, happy and most of all able to open up to him. As I sat there reminiscing, my thoughts drifted to what he had said about him being bad news. I couldn't understand how he thought so low of himself, maybe because more recently I had been unhappy and drunk more, but that had nothing to do with him. In fact in previous weeks I hadn't been drinking, it wasn't really until the Kirsty pregnancy drama cropped up that I hit the bottle hard again, before then I was happy, I was stable for once.

Joey had made me a better person, so maybe he was worth it all? Maybe I should just dive head first and take the plunge, it's about the now, and the future can come later.

Kicking myself into action, I raced up the stairs to chuck on my favourite plum skater dress and curl my hair. Pulling on my black wedged boots and applying a little make up I headed out the door and back over to number 23, my outfit choice shining more confidence than I actually had. I was prying Joey wouldn't push me away, or say it was too late, because in my eyes it would never be too late.

* * *

Knocking lightly on the door I heard the familiar movement from behind the door before it opened once again by Joey. In only his sweat pants and bare chest he looked beyond gorgeous urging me to do this.

"Joey" I paused, my heart racing a million miles, my palms a little sweaty.

"Do you want to go on a date with me?" I asked nervously, his face in complete shock, but soon that familiar smirk crept onto his lips before he spoke.

"I would love to, when?" he asked, rubbing his head, spotting me eyeing up his chiselled chest.

"Now, chop chop get some clothes on" I smirked, clapping my hands together.

"Alright bossy pants Jesus, come in I'll be 5 minutes" he stepped aside letting me in. I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"What's funny?" he asked, closing the door behind me.

"You saying you'll be ready in 5 minutes, since when does it take you 5 minutes, usually half an hour at the least you big girl" I chuckled, perching on the arm of the sofa as he swatted my arm lightly. The natural ease of us being together again came over us. We had always been so comfortable around each other and it hadn't changed during the time we had spent apart.

"Watch it you, or you'll be in trouble" he stated, poking my arm.

"Think you might have to make me" I smirked, poking his muscled chest. **KISS ME**

Joey being practically a god at flirting, pulled me up flush from the arm of the chair, the heat radiating from his body sending shivers down my spine as he cupped my face within his large hands, his thumb brushing my cheek. His lips hesitated to a stop just above my lips before attacking my lips with force. I had waited for this moment for so long, and now it was finally here I never wanted it to _end._

* * *

_Thank you for all your lovely reviews! Glad you liked this, I loved writing it! xxxxxxxxxxx_


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